Modern marriages are very unrealistic. They seem to get more and more interesting as the years go by. Modern marriages are more of a hearts decision than that of a given choice. Through the ages, women's lives have centered about their sex role. Little girls have been told as soon as they could toddle that some day they will be brides, and a little later, mothers, and, finally, if they live, grandmothers. Every other activity--learning to spin and weave, cook and bake, dance, sing, and skate, whatever the current accomplishments of young girls are--has been directed at achieving a lifelong career as wife and mother. Where for men actual sex activity, however insistently it may intrude upon attention, is a matter of a few minutes, for women each of these few minutes is laden with commitment before and commitment afterward. Since WWII a new kind of marriage has developed in America, a marriage with greater frankness, greater articulateness, greater sharing than any we have known before in this country--an early marriage focused on having children in comradeship. Women, frightened by the possibility that a career might interfere with marriage and motherhood, have gone out in active pursuit of mates. Men, weighed down by the uncertainties of the cold war and the heavy income taxes, have relinquished the task of preparing for a secure old age for that of giving the five a.m. bottle and taking the children to the beach.
I have my own personal believe that modern marriages tend to have a more foolishness understanding underneath the actually meaning of marriage. Many years ago a marriage was plan and partners were chosen by their parents. Eventually things have changed and a few years ago, I consider that many couples would be more dedicated and incorporated with the actual meaning of marriage. Marriage was, to my believe, taken to a more responsible step. However, a few years have passed and new generations have taken the lead. The modern marriage activities seem to be more interested in the “marriage” part of life. Steps to getting married are taken at younger ages and are eventually torn apart because of the lack of responsibility. In the past years many young people who think they are in “love” take the steps necessary to get married, however they eventually realize that they were to young and did not know any better. Every time I look at simple situations like this one I realize that to some certainty, the marriages from past years have been more respectful and responsible to act upon then those of our modern years. Although I am only 20 and take a great consideration in my acts of getting married, I still believe that I was too young and irresponsible. I do not say that things are not working out, because thank god we have been very happy to this day, however, it would have been better if I would have taken a second moment to think and go out to the real world and decide on what to do, then taken the steps to have my family.
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I agree with you that marriage today is in a way a more personal responsibility than when parents chose their children’s spouse. However, I do not believe that it is taken more seriously. I think that there are too many people who rush into getting married, for what? Just to say that they are married? Because they are too young and restless to wait? We all hear the cases of people who were high school sweethearts and ending up spending the rest of their lives together, of people having 60th wedding anniversaries. The sad thing is that this is not true for a very high percentage of American society. People in our generation, in generations before us, and I am not certain in generations following have not taken marriage as seriously as I think it should be taken. It is true that women have moved from house and home caretakers to money makers and supporters but this does not mean that marriage no longer significant. A lot of today’s society tends to get married young and split up not too long after, there are also the people who exchange husbands or wives like they change their underwear. I think that marriage is a huge decision and that when entering into it one needs to take a consideration and tread lightly. Marriage is supposed to be an “until death do us part” kind of thing, not a “hey, let’s get married cause we can” kind of thing, too many people take for granted the amazing privileges that America offers and marriage is included in that.
ReplyDeleteResponsibility is another one of the important values that many people who are already in marriage seem to be lacking. Although this is a very important characteristic that needs to be practiced and held as necessary and precious value its not. Too many people that behave like kids take on the responsibility of ADULTS. They are lead by their emotions rather than what is logic and realistic. We are so fueled by the songs played on the radio or by our favorite artist that we just fall into it thinking that marriage is as easy as singing along to a song. Yes, love is the center of a marriage but it is impossible to believe that just because you feel you love someone you two will make it through. Marriage NEEDS responsibility, commitment, time, maturity and love along with so many other things. People some how are blinded with what they feel and do not stop to think about these things. However if we find ourselves in situations that we can not get out of such as marriage rather than looking back we must look at the present and to what is ahead. Anything is possible in achieving, so rather than people giving up and letting go of marriage we need to realize that we will get what we put into our marriages.
ReplyDeleteIt does seem that in the past the focus on marriage and what it should entail was much more strict and gender stereotyped, women were not expected or even really allowed to have careers because many felt that she would not have enough time to “take care” of her family or raise her children. Now it seems that women are somewhat more able to have the best of both worlds, although some do still feel that women should not have careers that are too demanding because they would detract from devotion to her family. In this “modern” society, I agree that it does seem that for many younger people marriage is somewhat more casual, although I feel that most do get married with the best intentions it does not always turn out in the best way. Sometimes it seems that when things get difficult people get fed up and just give up. So in this way I do feel that we need to get back to the idea of marriage being something of real importance. People should first try to work things out, if the situation is fixable, and try to make it better. As you said I do think that people should always take a step back and consider what they are doing before they do it, even when it is the best thing for you, the repercussions should always be considered.
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